{"id":502,"date":"2010-06-01T18:09:00","date_gmt":"2010-06-02T02:09:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/mixhart.ca\/blog\/?p=502"},"modified":"2013-11-12T14:33:22","modified_gmt":"2013-11-12T22:33:22","slug":"gym-nemesis","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/blog.mixhart.ca\/index.php\/gym-nemesis\/","title":{"rendered":"Gym Nemesis"},"content":{"rendered":"

<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/div>\n
You know the one. That bully that keeps a silent eye on your workout, waiting for the best time to dash ahead of you a steal the equipment you\u2019re headed for before you can get to it. In most instances it is a silent battle. In my case it started out with verbal words exchanged and then simmered into a \u201ccultured\u201d silence of distain. He was on the bike. I made my way to the next equipment in my weight routine and unloaded the over100lbs of heavy weights left on it\u2014PO\u2019d at the imbecile who\u2019d left them on just ahead of me. As I\u2019d loaded up my impressive 70 lbs, a big guy arrives \u201cHey! I had one more set.\u201d <\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
I ignored him and as I placed my last weight on, then, looked up innocently, \u201cYou had one more set?\u201d<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
\u00a0He backed down \u201cWell\u2026since you\u2019ve switched the weights\u2026.\u201d He couldn\u2019t let it go at that. No, as he walked away he mumbled, \u201cIt was obvious. I wouldn\u2019t have left all the weights on it like that\u2026\u201d<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
The gym I go to isn\u2019t one you\u2019d pick if you like eye-candy. Scratch that. I am the eye-candy.<\/div>\n
It has developed into being something of a senior\u2019s hangout. I\u2019m not convinced this is the case 24\/7. No, I tell myself that after 5, when the young\u2019ns get off work, that\u2019s when the eye-candy alert must begin. That\u2019s when the sport cars arrive and the chiseled-rock bodies strut their way through the front doors and onto the weight room floor\u2014or so I like to imagine.<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
However, bright and early, at 6 AM all of my fellow \u201cathletes\u2019 who still have their hair, are various shades of grey.<\/div>\n
But I don\u2019t mind. Sure a little eye-candy would be nice, motivational even. But in my gym, I\u2019m the young\u2019n, the closest thing to an ing\u00e9nue you\u2019ll find\u2014until 5 O\u2019clock that is. <\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
The bully arrived last Friday–some new guy. No eye-candy alert there. He was heavy (ya it\u2019s true, I called him fat in my last blog), tall, semi-bald and grey. Although in my gym, he\u2019d be considered on the young side\u2014a young buck–probably just shy of 50.<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
As luck would have it, he was there bright and early Monday morning, rising for a little workout with a few of the seniors in town and me\u2026 Damn.<\/div>\n
\u00a0I hop on the bike, jacking the resistance up to the top\u201425 little lights of pure power. Not sure what 25 means but it is the top resistance setting.<\/div>\n
\u00a0That will show him. No way he\u2019ll tangle with a woman biking 25 lights! He is positioned conveniently on the treadmill behind me\u2014good he\u2019ll have full view of my impressive setting. As I bike for the full 20 minutes, I watch in worry as he finishes his treadmill and begins to mill around the gym floor, moving slowly from equipment to equipment–pausing to hop on the treadmill between sets. <\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
Damn. He\u2019s at it again. Thinking he owns the floor. Who does he think he is, pausing to do cardio between sets without removing his weights? <\/div>\n
Well he\u2019d better be well out of my way when I step off of the bike and start my weight routine\u2026<\/div>\n
Off the bike. So far so good. Time for my squats. I don\u2019t need to change the weights. Tee-hee–I mean, he\u2019d just been squatting the same weight ahead of me\u2014him at about 300 lbs, 6\u20193, and little old me\u20145\u20197\u201d woman, 120 lbs–180 lbs on the machine\u2014that outta intimidate him.<\/div>\n
\u00a0I\u2019m sure he\u2019ll notice how I squat the 180 lbs with ease and decide to stay clear. I may look small but watch out,<\/i> I\u2019ll say with each squat. <\/div>\n
But I never get the chance. Just as I head to the machine he inconveniently places his water bottle, towel and other personal gym-toys on the floor of the squat machine. Resting one hand on them as he bends down to \u201chelp\u201d a gym employee adjust the weights of the broken machine beside the squat machine.<\/div>\n
\u00a0Man\u2026do I ask him to move his stuff or appear patient as the knight in shining amour <\/i>helps the gym employee fix the equipment? All my toughness evaporates and I move to the next machine\u2014gonna come back to squats as soon as he moves his sweaty hand off of it.<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
The rest of my workout takes place in a panic. Can I make it to the machine of our first altercation before he takes it over? I attack my workout hard, with a bit of a self-satisfied strut between equipment\u2014think Travolta in Grease. Intimidation factor nearing 25 little red lights.<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
And then the unthinkable. One step ahead of me he arrives at the machine in question. He starts loading it up with weights I cannot lift on my own. Don\u2019t you dare leave those on\u2026fat-boy!<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
I retreat to the last machine of my routine, waiting to come back to the final altercation machine when he\u2019s finished. But if he takes a break between sets and heads for the cardio equipment, I\u2019m gonna loose it. <\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
The break between sets. He\u2019s pacing the floor, circling the equipment. Good\u2026 don\u2019t you leave buddy because if you do\u2026.well, I\u2019m gonna be too scared and too weak to take off your heavy weights and teach you a lesson\u2026so just don\u2019t do it\u2026.please don\u2019t walk away from the machine. I don\u2019t want to have to face my own beast that says: man, for all your strutting and bravado you\u2019re too chicken to take this guy on.<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
The second set\u2014wahoo\u2014don\u2019t be one of those guys stuck in the eighties that still insists on three sets\u2026good news, he\u2019s unloading the weights after 2 sets\u2014wahoo! Maybe the intimidation factor really is 25 lights high.<\/div>\n
But still\u20266\u20193\u201d, 300lbs\u2026<\/div>\n
\u201cAre you finished with this machine?\u201d I ask as I begin to load it up, all 70lbs worth. Sure, the voice sounds distinctly feminine, perhaps even sweet–but with a strong foundation of tough.<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

You know the one. That bully that keeps a silent eye on your workout, waiting for the best time to dash ahead of you a steal the equipment you\u2019re headed for before you can get to it. In most instances … Read More<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"om_disable_all_campaigns":false,"kt_blocks_editor_width":"","_kad_blocks_custom_css":"","_kad_blocks_head_custom_js":"","_kad_blocks_body_custom_js":"","_kad_blocks_footer_custom_js":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[104,1794],"tags":[830],"class_list":["post-502","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-fitness","category-humour2","tag-workouts"],"aioseo_notices":[],"taxonomy_info":{"category":[{"value":104,"label":"Fitness"},{"value":1794,"label":"Humour"}],"post_tag":[{"value":830,"label":"workouts"}]},"featured_image_src_large":false,"author_info":{"display_name":"mixhart","author_link":"https:\/\/blog.mixhart.ca\/index.php\/author\/mixhart\/"},"comment_info":3,"category_info":[{"term_id":104,"name":"Fitness","slug":"fitness","term_group":0,"term_taxonomy_id":104,"taxonomy":"category","description":"","parent":0,"count":161,"filter":"raw","cat_ID":104,"category_count":161,"category_description":"","cat_name":"Fitness","category_nicename":"fitness","category_parent":0},{"term_id":1794,"name":"Humour","slug":"humour2","term_group":0,"term_taxonomy_id":1847,"taxonomy":"category","description":"","parent":0,"count":80,"filter":"raw","cat_ID":1794,"category_count":80,"category_description":"","cat_name":"Humour","category_nicename":"humour2","category_parent":0}],"tag_info":[{"term_id":830,"name":"workouts","slug":"workouts","term_group":0,"term_taxonomy_id":830,"taxonomy":"post_tag","description":"","parent":0,"count":4,"filter":"raw"}],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/blog.mixhart.ca\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/502","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/blog.mixhart.ca\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/blog.mixhart.ca\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blog.mixhart.ca\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blog.mixhart.ca\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=502"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/blog.mixhart.ca\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/502\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/blog.mixhart.ca\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=502"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blog.mixhart.ca\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=502"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blog.mixhart.ca\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=502"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}